When Hyperfocus Turns Inward: A New Way to Understand RSD in ADHD
Article
If you’ve ever found yourself obsessing after a neutral message, an unanswered email, or a vague facial expression then welcome to the club. It’s that sinking feeling that you’ve said too much, come on too strong, or ruined something without knowing why. It can feel overwhelmingly painful, triggering feelings of dread, deep concern, and even shame.
That experience is often labelled Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD). For people with ADHD, it can feel like being emotionally crushed by something as simple as silence. It’s intense. And relentless.
But here’s a theory I’ve been working on: What if RSD isn’t just about emotional hypersensitivity? What if it’s a by-product of one of our greatest strengths hyperfocus being turned against us?
ADHD, Hyperfocus, and the Need for Resolve
Hyperfocus is one of those weird ADHD traits that’s both a blessing and a curse. When we care about something, we can zero in with laser intensity. We lose track of time, space everything. We love it when it’s directed at a creative project or a problem we can actually solve.
When that focus is locked onto something rewarding, our brains are flooded with dopamine the neurotransmitter that drives motivation and pleasure. It’s what gives us that addictive, immersive quality when we’re building, designing, coding, researching, or even just hyperfixating on a topic we love.
But when that same intensity turns inward toward a perceived social threat like a confusing silence or ambiguous facial expression where there’s no dopamine. Instead, our brain releases cortisol (the stress hormone) and sometimes adrenaline. These chemicals prep us for danger, not productivity.
So what starts as a desire to resolve uncertainty becomes a stress-fueled loop with no real exit. We're no longer solving a problem we're simulating scenarios that can't be answered with the information we have.
This isn’t just overthinking. It’s our problem-solving engine locking onto a threat it can’t see clearly and running simulations non-stop.
RSD as Inward-Facing Hyperfocus
My theory is simple: RSD might not be a flaw in our emotional system. It could be cognitive hyperfocus with no external anchor.
When we don’t get clarity or feedback, our brains treat that as unfinished business. We turn inward, running loops: “Did I say something wrong?” “Did I ruin it?” “Should I follow up? Or just disappear forever?”
It’s not that we’ve been rejected it’s that we’re caught in a loop without closure. The emotional pain is real, but it might be caused by our strongest trait, the ability to focus deeply turning in the wrong direction.
How This Reframe Can Help
Understanding RSD this way opens up new strategies for managing it. Here are a few I’ve found helpful:
- Interrupt the loop Use movement, music, a cold drink anything sensory that snaps you out of your head.
- Label it “This isn’t rejection. This is me trying to solve an invisible problem.”
- Delay the verdict If you’re unsure what someone meant, park it. You can revisit it when your brain’s not spinning.
- Ground yourself in evidence Ask: “Do I know they’re upset, or am I guessing?”
We can’t stop our brains from needing closure but we can learn when to hit pause and let the loop die a natural death.
Final Thoughts
Maybe RSD isn’t about weakness. Maybe it’s about how deeply we care and how hard our minds try to make sense of silence.
For people with ADHD, it’s not that we feel too much. It’s that our thoughts go places others never even notice. We’re not broken. We just need different tools and a bit more self-compassion to steer the engine in the right direction.